More About The lone wolf
Going after our wildest dreams can be both exhilarating and scary. In order to protect us from the scary part, The Lone Wolf shows up.
The Lone Wolf encourages disconnection from others because it believes we’re better off alone. This is fueled by the belief of either being too much or not enough – different sides of the same coin.
Rather than risking being misunderstood yet again, The Lone Wolf encourages us to lean into isolation and hyper-independence.
It can feel like you’re living in your own world. Sometimes, this can be a great thing. It’s just you and you, and no one to bother or interrupt your flow. But other times, it’s not so great. It’s just you and you, and that means there’s no one else to share it with. Deep down, The Lone Wolf really craves to be heard, seen, and understood. But the self-isolation makes it impossible to experience authentic connection.
Keep reading to learn what to do about it.
YOUR INNER WORK WITH THE lone wolf
The Lone Wolf’s mantra is “I’ll figure it out alone”. Not because it wants to, per se, but because it feels like it has to. The self-isolation is an effort to protect you from the outside world by keeping you disconnected from others. But, here’s the thing: it’s also keeping you disconnected from yourself. The Lone Wolf masks your true desire to be connected, seen and supported for exactly who you are. It believes you can either connect with others, or be your true self, but not both at the same time. In this case, your inner work becomes about 4 components — awareness, compassion, accountability, and celebration.
Your inner work
1 — AWARENESS
The Perfectionist is highly logical and will try to use logic to plead its case for perfection. Begin to create awareness of how The Perfectionist truly impacts your life by looking at the facts. Start by keeping a log of how much time you’re spending “perfecting” projects or ideas. How long have you actually been working on this? What’s been the ROI of this time? How much external action have you taken? This is all about creating awareness and clarity, because clarity creates space for choice.
2 — COMPASSION
The Perfectionist’s high standards also come with high criticism. Next time that criticism shows up, try meeting yourself with compassion instead. Invite this compassion by asking a few questions: How does The Perfectionist think it’s helping you right now? What is it trying to protect you from? How would you lovingly speak to a best friend if The Perfectionist was present for them?
3— ACCOUNTABILITY
After the compassion comes the action. And because The Perfectionist wants everything to be perfect, taking even the smallest step can feel like a big deal. So let’s remove some of that pressure, shall we? Let’s say, hypothetically, you were going to take one small step toward your vision today – what would it be? What if, ironically, you did that thing this week? Just to see. And then what if you ironically told a friend, coach, or other accountability partner about it so they can support you as you continued forward? Ironically, of course.
4 — CELEBRATION
Celebration is a powerful way to shift belief. The Lone Wolf believes that you have to sacrifice your true self in order to be in connection with others. That’s why it’s essential to build evidence for the contrary – you can be your full self and have authentic connections with others. Every time you show up as your full self with even one person, celebrate it. Because when you celebrate even the small wins, you build evidence for why it’s possible to move forward in connection and still be inherently valued, worthy and loved for your true self ✨
Ready To Do Your Inner Work?
If you’re ready to take this information and put it to work, this clarity call is for you. Receive 1-1 mindset coaching, personalized insights, and tangible next steps to help you move beyond the limitations of The Lone Wolf and step into possibility.