More About The Strong One
Going after our wildest dreams can be both exhilarating and scary. In order to protect us from the scary part, The Strong One shows up.
The Strong One encourages us to be just that – strong. It believes that asking for help or seeking support equates to weakness. On the outside, others may think you have everything together. But the truth is, internally, The Strong One is likely causing you to feel disconnected, misunderstood, and unsupported.
This can result in an experience of enduring – enduring life, enduring work, enduring relationships. As you take on more and more, it may feel like the weight of the world, and everyone’s expectations, is on your shoulders. And because The Strong One thinks that help equals weakness, it may feel like there’s no where to put down all of the weight or no one to share the burden with.
Keep reading to learn what to do about it.
YOUR INNER WORK WITH THE strong one
The Strong One is ultimately trying to keep you safe by trying to keep you worthy. It believes that being strong bolsters your ability to be liked, loved, or accepted by others. But, here’s the tough truth: In trying to be strong for everyone else, you’re actually abandoning yourself. You may feel stuck in a loop of endless doing, when you simply want to be. In this case, your inner work becomes about 4 components — awareness, compassion, accountability, and celebration.
Your inner work
1 — AWARENESS
Creating awareness is the first step to creating change. Yes, The Strong One has helped you get where you are now. It has helped you build your muscle for hard work. It has increased your capacity to reliably show up and be there for others. Now, let’s create some awareness on how it may not be serving you. In what ways has The Strong One also been limiting? What are the consequences of enduring your life, work or relationships? What’s not possible when you’re constantly pushing through? Use these questions as journal prompts to create more clarity on the full impact The Strong One has on your life. This is all about creating awareness and clarity, because clarity creates space for choice.
2 — COMPASSION
The Strong One has high expectations for what it means to be strong, which means any sign of “weakness” can result in immediate self-criticism. Next time that criticism shows up, try meeting yourself with compassion instead. Invite this compassion by asking a few questions: How would you lovingly speak to your best friend if they were in need of support, help or rest? If their request for help doesn’t diminish their worthiness for love, why would it for you? Can you show yourself the same grace and compassion you freely extend to others?
3— ACCOUNTABILITY
The Strong One has no problem with doing. In fact, the more doing, the better. So when it comes to accountability, your inner work isn’t about doing more, it’s about asking for support. Look at your to-do list for the week. Where can you ask for support? Where can you delegate? Where can you plan time to rest? Not because you can’t do it all, but because you don’t have to. Take it a step further and tell a friend, coach, or other accountability partner about it so they can also support you.
4 — CELEBRATION
Celebration is a powerful way to reinforce new beliefs. When it comes to The Strong One, you’ve likely been celebrated by others for what you’ve done and accomplished. Let’s also celebrate asking for support. Celebrate yourself when you take time to rest. Celebrate yourself for your being, not just what you’re capable of doing. Because when you celebrate even the small wins, you build evidence for why it’s possible to move forward with support and still be inherently valued, worthy and loved. ✨
Ready To Do Your Inner Work?
If you’re ready to take this information and put it to work, this clarity call is for you. Receive 1-1 mindset coaching, personalized insights, and tangible next steps to help you move beyond the limitations of The Strong One and step into possibility.